http://comicimpact.com/2013/01/letter-cosplay/
I keep reading this. I keep reading it over and over and over. It's still an open tab on my Firefox. Confession: I've been reading this when I should have been reading school books and stuff like that, kind of like blogging while I should be doing that stuff. And you want to know why I keep reading this again and again? It's so damn true. Go read it. Read it right now. I'll wait.
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Okay, have you read it? Maybe you should read it again. Sure as hell I can't put it any better than this lovely lady did! I can just add my own commentary, so here it goes... I'm sure we've all seen it, most of us are probably guilty of it ourselves - I'm not perfect, so guilty as charged. I mean, no, I try not to POST hate-filled rants, but I've certainly said some things I couldn't promote publicly. In any and every arena, women are absolutely horrible to each other. We say things to and about each other that we would definitely not tolerate a man saying. Worse, we internalize these things that come from other women, and maybe we start talking to OURSELVES that way.
Ladies, do I have your attention? Okay? QUIT IT! You know that moment in Mean Girls where Tina Fey says "You have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores! It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores!" Well, no. It's not okay to call names at all, and we all learn that when we are small children. Seriously - it's no way to treat each other and it makes life that much harder on ALL of us. It makes blanket statements like "Women are so catty/petty/bitchy." and "You can't trust other women." waaaaaay too easy to make.
And here's another point: when we, as women, do not have healthy relationships with each other, the patriarchy wins. I know that sounds like crazy-talk and stuff like "Oh, she's paranoid about THE MAN" and whatever. Well, here's the thing - it's true. It's something men cannot understand because they don't have to deal with it. The patriarchal society benefits immensely from women being discouraged from having healthy relationships with each other. THINK about how much CONTROL that gives men that they don't even know they have when women are always at each other's throats! It makes it EASY for them to dismiss us as catty little harpies who can't play straight when we go behind each other's backs. They feel perfectly justified in calling us hysterical, untrustworthy, and mean when they see nothing but hate and jealousy and pettiness.
It lets them win. It keeps us in a second-class position when we bring each other down. It applies ESPECIALLY in the nerd community. How many people have heard the backlash about nerd girls and don't even get me started on "fake" this, that, or the other girls? It's a load of grade-A mule muffins! When women do not treat each other with respect, it justifies men who refuse to give us any respect, and a woman who is not respected is a woman who feels unsafe. When women feel unsafe, it makes a bad situation for everyone. It turns everyone, even on common grounds like conventions, into adversaries, enemies, and that's not okay!
Ladies, come on. I'm not even going to say we're all grown-ups here, because many, MANY of the con set are so young, but we have got to do better than this. I feel it's not right to bemoan a problem if you're not going to try and offer a reasonable solution, so here goes: start stopping the hate. If you, personally, do not have something nice to say to another person, KEEP QUIET! You have every right to disagree with someone. You have the same right to dislike them! I've got a whole lot to say about women feeling like they have to be "friends" with everyone and that's bull too! However, NOTHING gives you the right to be nasty to someone else. If someone is being rude or mean to you, you're not doing anyone any favors by being horrible back to them. And if you see a trash-talk thread going on, call out the bullshit! We have GOT to stop ACTING like we're on Mean Girls! Refer to my last article - that kind of stuff is only okay/funny/excusable in the movies.
Marigold/Hyperchan, saying "Dudes... be EXCELLENT to each other!"
I keep reading this. I keep reading it over and over and over. It's still an open tab on my Firefox. Confession: I've been reading this when I should have been reading school books and stuff like that, kind of like blogging while I should be doing that stuff. And you want to know why I keep reading this again and again? It's so damn true. Go read it. Read it right now. I'll wait.
...
...
...
Okay, have you read it? Maybe you should read it again. Sure as hell I can't put it any better than this lovely lady did! I can just add my own commentary, so here it goes... I'm sure we've all seen it, most of us are probably guilty of it ourselves - I'm not perfect, so guilty as charged. I mean, no, I try not to POST hate-filled rants, but I've certainly said some things I couldn't promote publicly. In any and every arena, women are absolutely horrible to each other. We say things to and about each other that we would definitely not tolerate a man saying. Worse, we internalize these things that come from other women, and maybe we start talking to OURSELVES that way.
Ladies, do I have your attention? Okay? QUIT IT! You know that moment in Mean Girls where Tina Fey says "You have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores! It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores!" Well, no. It's not okay to call names at all, and we all learn that when we are small children. Seriously - it's no way to treat each other and it makes life that much harder on ALL of us. It makes blanket statements like "Women are so catty/petty/bitchy." and "You can't trust other women." waaaaaay too easy to make.
And here's another point: when we, as women, do not have healthy relationships with each other, the patriarchy wins. I know that sounds like crazy-talk and stuff like "Oh, she's paranoid about THE MAN" and whatever. Well, here's the thing - it's true. It's something men cannot understand because they don't have to deal with it. The patriarchal society benefits immensely from women being discouraged from having healthy relationships with each other. THINK about how much CONTROL that gives men that they don't even know they have when women are always at each other's throats! It makes it EASY for them to dismiss us as catty little harpies who can't play straight when we go behind each other's backs. They feel perfectly justified in calling us hysterical, untrustworthy, and mean when they see nothing but hate and jealousy and pettiness.
It lets them win. It keeps us in a second-class position when we bring each other down. It applies ESPECIALLY in the nerd community. How many people have heard the backlash about nerd girls and don't even get me started on "fake" this, that, or the other girls? It's a load of grade-A mule muffins! When women do not treat each other with respect, it justifies men who refuse to give us any respect, and a woman who is not respected is a woman who feels unsafe. When women feel unsafe, it makes a bad situation for everyone. It turns everyone, even on common grounds like conventions, into adversaries, enemies, and that's not okay!
Ladies, come on. I'm not even going to say we're all grown-ups here, because many, MANY of the con set are so young, but we have got to do better than this. I feel it's not right to bemoan a problem if you're not going to try and offer a reasonable solution, so here goes: start stopping the hate. If you, personally, do not have something nice to say to another person, KEEP QUIET! You have every right to disagree with someone. You have the same right to dislike them! I've got a whole lot to say about women feeling like they have to be "friends" with everyone and that's bull too! However, NOTHING gives you the right to be nasty to someone else. If someone is being rude or mean to you, you're not doing anyone any favors by being horrible back to them. And if you see a trash-talk thread going on, call out the bullshit! We have GOT to stop ACTING like we're on Mean Girls! Refer to my last article - that kind of stuff is only okay/funny/excusable in the movies.
Marigold/Hyperchan, saying "Dudes... be EXCELLENT to each other!"
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