Linky here! http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/01/09/rape-is-not-an-accident/
It does occur to me that I should probably post this once my blog is reaching more people, but not to worry - I can always re-post. In fact, please expect me to do so around the timing of major cons and other nerd events here in the Southeast. If you live outside the Southeast and you want the people of your particular nerddom to see this, please contact me and let me know! All that said, moving on:
If you read the link, like I hope you did, you got that the Legend of the Accidental Rapist is a load of mule muffins. Bull cookies. Horse hockey. You know it, I know it - it's just not effing true. I don't care if you know a guy who knows a guy who such-and-such happened too. Wikipedia - whether or not you take it as a credible source, feel free to check the ones at the bottom - has from the FBI that false accusations of rape are between 2% and 8%, depending on what data you're looking at. Under 5% and you're looking at not even statistically/mathematically/scientifically significant. Which means, while it is possible, it's one of those things that's not very LIKELY. Like how you're more likely to die in a car crash than being stomped into the ground by a raging bull elephant...
Now, here we come to a subject that just makes me all kinds of sad. I don't know how often this kind of thing happens at cons. The part of me that wants to retain some faith in humanity doesn't WANT to know how often it happens at cons. I don't know if there are legitimately-obtained statistics on the matter (yes, I know the line about lies, damn lies, and statistics...) or how to go about getting them. All I can tell you here on this blog, from me myself personally, is what has happened to me. I could give you anecdotal evidence, stories told to me by other con-goers, but I would rather have those stories typed direct from them before I start posting anything from anyone other than me here. My dear readers, if you have a story for me, please (FOR THE LOVE OF TROUSERS) contact me and we'll get it up here.
I'm not here to ruin anybody's fun. I'm not trying to rain on the Dragon*Con parade or prevent anyone from having a good time. I love my cons and, on principle, I love the people who go to these cons - but every set has its bad apples. From my understanding, nerdism has traditionally been a self-regulating environment. If there's a creep and people find out about it, said creep is out on his ass. However, I feel it's time to take convention safety a step forward. I'm not talking about people swordfighting in aisles, barfing off balconies in the Hyatt Regency, or general horseplay. I've been part of some of those shenanigans myself and it's all good, clean fun. What I'm talking about is alcohol and sexual safety. (Not giving you a lecture on condoms - just use the damn things!)
If there is a man known to creep on girls/touch without consent/get pushy with women who are drinking or drunk, it's time to more than self-regulate him. It's time to go to one of the nice policemen who are lovely enough to be at our cons to keep us safe. One of my favorite lines of nerddom is this, "In life, we are all strange - at con, we are all strange together." In my opinion, it's time to carry that over into seriously taking care of each other. It's our responsibility to keep an eye on each other. If you see something shady going on, do something about it. Use the buddy system - one of you stay to keep an eye on the situation while the other goes to find a member of con security or a policeman. We are our con-brothers' and con-sisters' keepers. When something bad happens at a con, it reflects badly on all of us.
Basic rundown:
I'm sure this entry will improve over time, but the message will stay the same: cons are, for all intents and purposes, a safe - even sacred - space where people who are different feel accepted and normal. It makes me sick that some of the guys at Dragon*Con or wherever are no better than the guys on Frat Row or the "dumb jocks" we all decried/decry in school. These cons are OUR cons, and it is our responsibility to make them safe for people of all shapes, sizes, genders, makes, models, and loves.
Marigold/Hyper-chan, on a serious subject, over and out!
It does occur to me that I should probably post this once my blog is reaching more people, but not to worry - I can always re-post. In fact, please expect me to do so around the timing of major cons and other nerd events here in the Southeast. If you live outside the Southeast and you want the people of your particular nerddom to see this, please contact me and let me know! All that said, moving on:
If you read the link, like I hope you did, you got that the Legend of the Accidental Rapist is a load of mule muffins. Bull cookies. Horse hockey. You know it, I know it - it's just not effing true. I don't care if you know a guy who knows a guy who such-and-such happened too. Wikipedia - whether or not you take it as a credible source, feel free to check the ones at the bottom - has from the FBI that false accusations of rape are between 2% and 8%, depending on what data you're looking at. Under 5% and you're looking at not even statistically/mathematically/scientifically significant. Which means, while it is possible, it's one of those things that's not very LIKELY. Like how you're more likely to die in a car crash than being stomped into the ground by a raging bull elephant...
Now, here we come to a subject that just makes me all kinds of sad. I don't know how often this kind of thing happens at cons. The part of me that wants to retain some faith in humanity doesn't WANT to know how often it happens at cons. I don't know if there are legitimately-obtained statistics on the matter (yes, I know the line about lies, damn lies, and statistics...) or how to go about getting them. All I can tell you here on this blog, from me myself personally, is what has happened to me. I could give you anecdotal evidence, stories told to me by other con-goers, but I would rather have those stories typed direct from them before I start posting anything from anyone other than me here. My dear readers, if you have a story for me, please (FOR THE LOVE OF TROUSERS) contact me and we'll get it up here.
I'm not here to ruin anybody's fun. I'm not trying to rain on the Dragon*Con parade or prevent anyone from having a good time. I love my cons and, on principle, I love the people who go to these cons - but every set has its bad apples. From my understanding, nerdism has traditionally been a self-regulating environment. If there's a creep and people find out about it, said creep is out on his ass. However, I feel it's time to take convention safety a step forward. I'm not talking about people swordfighting in aisles, barfing off balconies in the Hyatt Regency, or general horseplay. I've been part of some of those shenanigans myself and it's all good, clean fun. What I'm talking about is alcohol and sexual safety. (Not giving you a lecture on condoms - just use the damn things!)
If there is a man known to creep on girls/touch without consent/get pushy with women who are drinking or drunk, it's time to more than self-regulate him. It's time to go to one of the nice policemen who are lovely enough to be at our cons to keep us safe. One of my favorite lines of nerddom is this, "In life, we are all strange - at con, we are all strange together." In my opinion, it's time to carry that over into seriously taking care of each other. It's our responsibility to keep an eye on each other. If you see something shady going on, do something about it. Use the buddy system - one of you stay to keep an eye on the situation while the other goes to find a member of con security or a policeman. We are our con-brothers' and con-sisters' keepers. When something bad happens at a con, it reflects badly on all of us.
Basic rundown:
- Keep your hands to yourself until someone tells you otherwise - ask before you touch anything or anyone and be prepared to take no for an answer.
- If you see anyone not following #1, either say something to him yourself or get a con security member/police officer.
- ---
I'm sure this entry will improve over time, but the message will stay the same: cons are, for all intents and purposes, a safe - even sacred - space where people who are different feel accepted and normal. It makes me sick that some of the guys at Dragon*Con or wherever are no better than the guys on Frat Row or the "dumb jocks" we all decried/decry in school. These cons are OUR cons, and it is our responsibility to make them safe for people of all shapes, sizes, genders, makes, models, and loves.
Marigold/Hyper-chan, on a serious subject, over and out!
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