I admit, I was having trouble thinking of something to blog today. Then I was on Twitter and I saw a link in a post by @SockDreams (if you love socks, you should follow them!) that helped. "The Problem with Skinny Bashing" by Ali Berman really spoke to me, but the link they posted was its follow-up piece: Body Bashing: 5 Ways to Fix It. Both pieces make me super-happy, as I detest just pissing and moaning without offering viable solutions. For my part, I would like to do a somewhat nerd-based follow-up to both.
First, I'd like to address where the problem of female body-bashing comes from at the root, and it's not pretty at all. The bottom line is, in our society, female and female-oriented bodies are public property. Remember my previous posts about "hollering" and my follow-up to female cosplayers being excellent to each other? It's the same subject. If you identify as female, all of a sudden it is completely okay for anyone to say just whatever they please to you. I am calling some serious shenanigans, mule muffins, horse hockey, and BULLSHIT here!
Refuse to take this. Men and women and everyone in between - when you see body-bashing, do not let it pass uncommented-upon. Yes, that is a word now. Say "That is totally none of your business" or "That was really mean" or anything to call to attention the inappropriate nature of the comment. Change starts with YOU. I'm serious, y'all. Leonardo da Vinci wrote "He who does not punish evil commands it to be done." It's entirely too true, and waiting for someone else to do the right thing means one will be waiting rather a long wait. DO IT YOURSELF.
It is entirely a person's own business who they choose to cosplay. If someone who is not the body type you find personally attractive is wearing a costume you find revealing, you know what? THAT'S COOL! And no, this is not where you get all patronizing and say "Oh, that's so BRAVE of her to wear this or that." Nyet! Nope! That's backhanded body-bashing. Saying that a plus-sized woman is brave to wear whatever is saying that she has a societal obligation to be ashamed of her size. Sorry, not sorry - fuck the hell out of that. Her body and her cosplay are none of your dang business, and if you don't like it, refer to my other articles. Same that goes for a skinny or "conventionally attractive" woman cosplaying something revealing. No, you are still not entitled to yell about it. Whatever she looks like, her body's not your business.
Let's try another tack here: look at her cosplay. Has she done the character in a way you haven't seen before? Is there a particular piece of her outfit you're interested in the making of? That's cool! Ask her how she got the pleats in her Sailor Moon skirt so perfect. Maybe she has reproduced Rikku's signature hairstyle to a tee - tell her that! There's a zillion things to comment constructively on about any cosplay besides the wearer's body. I'd say probably the most personal you should go is "You look just like -insert character here-" just to be on the safe side.
I know there's things out there we cannot change. Off-hand, all I can think of is the sun rising, the tide moving, and the Earth rotating. Until we get out there and start trying, we have no idea what we can really do. And I don't mean try once or twice and then chuck it. I mean get out there and bust your tail for change each and every day. I mean take up for people when you hear someone being nasty. I mean flag comments as abusive when they are. I mean read Ms. Berman's piece and take those five things to heart!
Second, I'd like to re-state something for the record, for however many times I need to say it: every body is a good body. I want everybody who has a body to respect and love and own their body! Take care of it! Be healthy and happy! Do you have to find everyone the hottest thing ever or be sexually attracted to everyone? No. That's absurd. You do, however, if you promote body positivity, have an obligation to recognize that everyone's view of beauty is bound to be a little different. Must you promote choices that are clearly unhealthy or destructive? No, that's crazy too. However, recognize that everyone's choices are their own. All you can do is constructively promote health, activity, and acceptance instead of shame, dismissal, and blame. That's what I'm trying to do and I invite you all to do it with me!
Marigold, wishing everyone love and hugs, saying "Have a good night!"
First, I'd like to address where the problem of female body-bashing comes from at the root, and it's not pretty at all. The bottom line is, in our society, female and female-oriented bodies are public property. Remember my previous posts about "hollering" and my follow-up to female cosplayers being excellent to each other? It's the same subject. If you identify as female, all of a sudden it is completely okay for anyone to say just whatever they please to you. I am calling some serious shenanigans, mule muffins, horse hockey, and BULLSHIT here!
Refuse to take this. Men and women and everyone in between - when you see body-bashing, do not let it pass uncommented-upon. Yes, that is a word now. Say "That is totally none of your business" or "That was really mean" or anything to call to attention the inappropriate nature of the comment. Change starts with YOU. I'm serious, y'all. Leonardo da Vinci wrote "He who does not punish evil commands it to be done." It's entirely too true, and waiting for someone else to do the right thing means one will be waiting rather a long wait. DO IT YOURSELF.
It is entirely a person's own business who they choose to cosplay. If someone who is not the body type you find personally attractive is wearing a costume you find revealing, you know what? THAT'S COOL! And no, this is not where you get all patronizing and say "Oh, that's so BRAVE of her to wear this or that." Nyet! Nope! That's backhanded body-bashing. Saying that a plus-sized woman is brave to wear whatever is saying that she has a societal obligation to be ashamed of her size. Sorry, not sorry - fuck the hell out of that. Her body and her cosplay are none of your dang business, and if you don't like it, refer to my other articles. Same that goes for a skinny or "conventionally attractive" woman cosplaying something revealing. No, you are still not entitled to yell about it. Whatever she looks like, her body's not your business.
Let's try another tack here: look at her cosplay. Has she done the character in a way you haven't seen before? Is there a particular piece of her outfit you're interested in the making of? That's cool! Ask her how she got the pleats in her Sailor Moon skirt so perfect. Maybe she has reproduced Rikku's signature hairstyle to a tee - tell her that! There's a zillion things to comment constructively on about any cosplay besides the wearer's body. I'd say probably the most personal you should go is "You look just like -insert character here-" just to be on the safe side.
I know there's things out there we cannot change. Off-hand, all I can think of is the sun rising, the tide moving, and the Earth rotating. Until we get out there and start trying, we have no idea what we can really do. And I don't mean try once or twice and then chuck it. I mean get out there and bust your tail for change each and every day. I mean take up for people when you hear someone being nasty. I mean flag comments as abusive when they are. I mean read Ms. Berman's piece and take those five things to heart!
Second, I'd like to re-state something for the record, for however many times I need to say it: every body is a good body. I want everybody who has a body to respect and love and own their body! Take care of it! Be healthy and happy! Do you have to find everyone the hottest thing ever or be sexually attracted to everyone? No. That's absurd. You do, however, if you promote body positivity, have an obligation to recognize that everyone's view of beauty is bound to be a little different. Must you promote choices that are clearly unhealthy or destructive? No, that's crazy too. However, recognize that everyone's choices are their own. All you can do is constructively promote health, activity, and acceptance instead of shame, dismissal, and blame. That's what I'm trying to do and I invite you all to do it with me!
Marigold, wishing everyone love and hugs, saying "Have a good night!"
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