Exams Are Over!

No, this post is not about my exams being over - it's just an explanation of why Tuesday and Thursday went by without any sort of post. Well, it is officially summertime now, so blogging may experience a revamp in schedule, particularly as I lose track of days...

Okay! Following a conversation with my friend N. [name redacted], I have decided to return to a blogging subject very near and dear to me.

As some of you may know, yesterday was a very special day for the Walt Disney Company, hereafter referred to as the Disney Empire. On May 11, 2013, Princess Merida of Castle DunBragh appeared for her coronation as the eleventh Official Disney Princess.

Excuse me... wrong Eleventh!

That one! Yes, Merida (apparently with assistance from Angus - picture is not from coronation ceremony) appeared in the Magic Kingdom yesterday to receive her crown. In true Eleventh fashion, Merida broke with tradition in her coronation.

Yes, Merida was crowned by her mother, Queen Elinor. I don't have the whatsis to go hunting all over Tumblr for the picture I saw yesterday, but here's the gist of it: Princess Tiana was crowned by Prince Naveen. Princess Rapunzel was crowned by Eugene Fitzherbert, alias Flynn Rider. And then it hit me... I scrambled to look up the "Official Disney Princess" lineup, even though I have it memorized. Just needed to see it.

Can you tell me how each of these princesses is similar? There's one answer I'm looking for, and it specifically relates to Merida. Okay, I'll go on and tell you. I am absolutely, positively not knocking any of the Disney Princesses for anything. I think they're all incredibly special and wonderful in their own ways and they all have their own strengths, gifts, and badassness. Merida, however, is the only Disney Princess to remain single by the end of her movie.

I'm just saying. I do not think it is anti-feminist or weak or whatever to have a relationship/get married/whatever. I just think it's really neat that Merida's big step forward at the end was mending her relationship with her mom and becoming a badass leader in her own right. Yes, she had the same issue as Jasmine, and they handled it DIFFERENT ways. That's freaking fantastic! Mulan and Belle had issues in the same vein, and they all handled it the way THEY were meant to!

I want to see people stop tearing the Disney Princesses down for this, that, and the other thing. Tearing someone down, even a character, is not going to get you what you want, and it makes you look terribly petty, in my opinion. Instead, focus on things that ARE badass and awesome. You know what? New summer blogging project. I'm watching every last Disney Princess movie and doing a spotlight on the featured princess, starting with Snow White and finishing with Brave. Then I can just focus on being excited for Frozen!

Marigold, with Disney on the brain, wishing everyone a happy Mother's Day!

This is all kinds of not fucking okay.

Take a second to take a look at this.

Yeah...

Oh, by the way, do NOT tell me I am "taking things too seriously" or "it's just a joke." The hard fact is, if a woman is murdered, it is most likely (per case) to be by an intimate partner. Doesn't matter if they're married, doesn't matter if they had a one-time thing... This is just way effing not-okay. I'm fine with the targets of zombie lawn critters. This? No. Just all kinds of no.

This is just this side of actively encouraging violence against women.

Okay, I know what catharsis is. If you want to make Sims of all your exes and then burn the house down, I think that's probably fairly harmless. I know I've made a few "voodoo Sims" in my time. Seriously, though? Encouraging a real person to put real bullets in a real firearm and shoot them at an actual target that bears disturbing resemblance to another real person? Yeah, I think that may qualify as cultivating psychotic behavior.

This is disgusting. Normally, I do not state my opinions as if they were fact, but this really is. With rates of domestic violence in this country being what they are, there is no excuse for this. Add to that how many instances of domestic violence include the use of a gun, whether or not the weapon is actually discharged? Yeah, let me just say, if you think this bloody thing is funny, I no longer wish to know you.

If you read the article, you can tell these people don't exactly have a history of products in good taste. I don't care what your view on the President of the United States is - it's not a good idea to produce a target that resembles a living individual. Yes, I am aware of the history of effigies. The fact that people do it does not make it a good idea. They pulled that product, and now it's time for people to let them know that they need to pull this one. If I were you, I would be encouraging any firearm-enthusiast friends not to patronize this company at all.

If you are so upset with your former partner that you feel the need to point a REAL GUN at something resembling or representing that person, I encourage you to seek professional help. No, I'm not being patronizing there. Every single gun-related death, I believe, is a preventable one. If you think you may have the desire to harm someone, own up and take responsibility. I, for one, will not judge you for doing the right thing and getting help.

So, all in all, this just made it to the top of my rage list. I'm going to cut this off before it becomes a full-blown screaming rant that can be heard on the moons of Neptune. All of my lovely readers, now is the time for you to rise up and bring forth your squirrel to the bagel shop! No, wait... that's not right. Now is the time for you to send some sort of communication to this company, even if you are not their patron, and inform them of your displeasure. I'm not saying to be rude or mean - that doesn't solve anything or make them listen. Instead, take the time to write something well-thought-out to tell them that this product has no place in distribution.

Have fun making "voodoo Sims"!

Marigold, done with exams, over and out!

Glad I did that post yesterday...

Apologies, folks...

I am ill once again.

Off to enjoy Phenargen, naps, and struggling through tomorrow.

Surprise Wednesday post!

I was skimming through my Facebook feed when I saw something the lovely, wonderful, sweet, and talented Persephone Phoenix shared:

Here's the link, just in case!

Ladies, have you ever felt this way at a con? No matter your size, shape, color, ability, what have you - has someone been unkind about your body at a con? Well, it's happened to me. It's happened to me at my lowest weight, which I estimate at about 102, and my highest weight - approximately 160. (Measurements are in pounds cuz I'm a dumb American...) I've heard it happen to other ladies - built similarly to me, built just like me, and built totally different from me - and it's not okay. 

We deserve to LOVE to love our geekiness. All of us. Those of us who are size 2, those of us who are size 22, those of us above or below or anywhere in between. It is a gift to love something, to have passion for it, and you deserve to love that gift. 

I'll reference my article on being excellent to each other again: we have GOT to stop tearing each other down and stop letting OTHER ladies be unkind to each other. It supports a culture in which our bodies are public property - where any schmuck on the street can say just whatever they please to us. When you hear people being jerks, SAY SOMETHING! Make it known that we aren't going to shut up and take it and neither should anybody else!

Gents... I am disappointed. Not calling out anybody individually here, but I am disappointed. I hear guys complain and complain about women at cons. Guess what? You have absolutely nothing to complain about. Look around at every woman at a con you go to. Think about how many, for every single one you see, stayed home for fear of harassment and body shaming. Imagine if every last one of those women who stayed home - whether out of fear, shame, or just being sick of it all - actually came to the con. Really, sit there and have a think about that. I'm no great shakes at math, but if there's 10,000 women at a con (hypothetical number) and for each one of them, five women stayed home because of body shaming... If I was a guy attracted to girls, I would be wailing and gnashing my teeth in the street! Then, I would get up off my butt and start thinking of how I could get those ladies to come to the con! How could I make cons a safer, cooler, more awesome place for ladies?

Some hints:

• Unless you are actually speaking of a cetacean, let the word "Whale" never escape your lips. 

^^^ This is a cetacean.

• Same goes for any sort of body-shaming language. I am going to assume you know well and good what is body-shaming language. 
• While we're at it, refrain from using any word connecting a woman's worth with what she does with her secondary sex characteristics. I KNOW you know what those are.
• Cut the bullshit about "I bet you never read the comics" and whatever. Got news for you - half of the new Avengers fandom only watched the movies. Same goes for Batman. Same for X-Men, Spiderman... Same will soon go for Superman. Get over it and just enjoy sharing the fandom. 
• When you hear people doing any of the above... Well, I cannot actually advocate violence. Metaphysically, smite them with a giant hammer. In reality, make sure they know what they're doing is not okay at all ever.

Okay, making this list is actually killing my brain cells. Guys, y'all are intelligent people. You know how not to make people uncomfortable. You know how not to be mean. Please, for the love of every single deity ever known to any being on this planet, USE YOUR GOOD SENSE! I'm trying to help you! (I'm trying to help everybody...) 

Pardon me - you may skip the oncoming rant if you so choose.

DUDES! Why the hell would you ever give a girl any trouble at a con!? A girl who caught shit at a con is a girl who will likely not come back, tell her friends not to come, and all that! EVERYBODY LOSES IN THAT SITUATION! If I were a dude, I would be treating every single girl I came across like she was God's gift to the planet itself! Because guess what!? WHEN GIRLS FEEL SAFE AND NOT SHAMED OR HARASSED, THEY WILL LIKELY COME BACK! What the devil is so hard to grasp about this!? Don't be a dick and don't allow harassment and body-shaming to go on and WOMEN WILL COME HAPPILY TO CONS!

Okay, sorry, that was my first reaction to seeing that comic and I just had to let it out. Seriously, everybody, can we just... not? For real. I don't like it. Other people don't like it. At no point does it make sense to go about doing things that are damaging and wrong and hurtful. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Nerds get bullied enough in the "real world." Cons are no place for bullying. 

These guys said so. Do not disagree with these guys.

Marigold, unable to continue typing coherently while looking at that picture, wishing you happy Wednesday!

Quick list of STUFF today!

So, I apologize to everyone, but I've got a lot going on at the present time and I'm not feeling particularly insightful today. Not to leave you with no post and nothing new to think about, I'm just going to post a quick little list of stuff to ponder and links to visit. Everybody cool? Great!

• Could Elphaba's mother really give consent? What the hell was IN that Green Elixir? Yeah... the things one thinks about when one is a feminist musical-lover.
• Project Unbreakable - a picture project to give voice to survivors of sexual violence
• Thing you can do TODAY to make a difference: donate gently-used clothing to crisis centers/shelters/etc. It's season-change time and it's time to do a little closet purging. While you're at it, consider picking up an extra pack of basic underpants next time you're out. Rape victims are often required to give up their clothing for evidence collection. A couple bucks and you can provide someone who really needs it with a pair of undies. 
• Guys - this article makes a fascinating argument for doing the right thing!
• This is not exactly feminist-related but... for the love of several gods, make sure you're drinking enough water! My recent battle with dehydration just makes me want to remind everybody to take good care of themselves. You've only got the one body this time around - take care of it!

Okay, that's about all I have the brain-power for today! I'm gonna go put the dog on his leash and take him out to see the pretty sunshine! Love for everybody!

Marigold, experiencing exam-brain, wishing everyone a happy Tyr's Day - look it up!

Relevant to Issues of Crossplay

How many times have you heard turns of phrase that suggest womanhood/femininity has a negative connotation? Ever been told you do something "like a girl" in that condescending tone? Ever heard a friend stress that their little boy plays with dolls/paints his nails/likes dresses? Ever wonder why the worst thing you can call a guy is a "p*ssy" and the worst thing you can call a girl is a "c*nt"?

Everybody go read this on Feministing.com.

This is a link on how a bunch of Kurd men dressed in women's clothing and accompanied their photos with messages of pride and respect for women. When I first heard about this, I just smiled a lot - I found it lovely and heartwarming and something to be very happy about. I'm still happy about it and I would love to thank these fellas myself. However, now, I'm really sitting down to think about what they're really addressing.

Why the ever-loving hell is it, the world over, somehow shameful to be feminine? Why is it a cardinal sin to be like a woman? Why is it, in some cases, a capital offense to BE a woman?

Then I thought about my friends who crossplay. I thought, first, about my friend Y. [Name redacted] I have known Y. for years through our mutual convention-going habit. For the first many, many times I saw Y., I did not know Y's born gender. I didn't care, frankly - that's just my friend Y. and that's all there is to it. What was under Y's dresses had absolutely no bearing on Y. being my friend! Y's cosplays were fantastic! Showed a great deal of skill and dedication to the cosplay habit! It wasn't until I was at a convention with my now-ex-boyfriend that I heard comments. The comments my thankfully-now-ex made were homophobic, transphobic, and misogynistic. I'm not repeating them hear, because no one I know needs MORE reason to go whomp that guy.

I have another acquaintance - I'll call this one E. I happen to know that E. is biologically female. For as long as I have known E. she has cosplayed male characters. She and I are not close enough for me to know if she has ever received criticism for cosplaying male characters. From other biological females I know who cosplay males, I haven't heard of much flack of that nature. Heck, since most anime men are designed with the intent of satisfying a female audience, they're PRETTY! There are many characters that look equally good when portrayed in flesh by males or females. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there is much less stigma on F2M cosplay than M2F.

It's not just my friend Y. that I have heard catch a hard time. Men who crossplay as women are often assumed to be gay, and the assumption is made with a negative connotation. You know what? I'm not okay with that. I'm female. I think it's pretty awesome. Clothes marketed/designed for biological females are fun! Skirts and dresses are comfy and come in all kinds of pretty colors! I'm perfectly fine with anyone who wants to wear them doing just that!

Cosplay is about way more than clothes, though. Cosplay, for many, many of us is about the characters. You watch a series and, more often than not, the character you want to cosplay is one who SPEAKS to you. For example, I cosplay Tomo Takino from Azumanga Daioh - I have since I was eighteen years old! When I watched that series, I (and most of my friends) immediately saw an overwhelming similarity to my sixteen-year-old self in the character. Tomo is biologically female, like me. In Rurouni Kenshin, the character of Misao Makimachi spoke to me almost more than any other character has ever done. I've cosplayed her since I was sixteen! But imagine if Kenshin had been the one... And imagine if Misao had spoken to Y.

Why would it be okay for me to cosplay Kenshin but not okay for Y. to cosplay Misao?

Oh right... Because in this world, the worst thing you can possibly be is a woman. I'm really fucking offended by that, just so everybody knows. I hate it that you call a guy weak by calling him a "p*ssy." I hate it just as much that you say a girl has a bad personality by calling her a "c*nt." Both of those imply that lady-parts are something bad. FUCK THAT!

I'm just one cosplayer, one blogger, and one feminist, but here is my affirmation to you:

COSPLAY WHOEVER YOU WANT.

It doesn't matter if you look like them in body type, race, or secondary sex characteristics. Make that costume. Commission or buy bits if you need to! WEAR that cosplay! LOVE that character! Go all the way to replicate their personality!

NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO GIVE YOU SHIT ABOUT IT.

If they do, call them out on their bullshit. If you're a guy cosplaying a girl and someone gives you shit, call them out. Tell them that their comments are bigoted. If you're a girl cosplaying a guy and someone says something, you tell them they're full of shit! Tell them you don't appreciate them bringing their crap into a safe space! I'm not going to tell you don't let them affect you. It's okay if something hurts. That's called being human - we have feelings and they get hurt when people are mean to us. TELL people that their comments are hurtful. You've got the right not to be harassed.

Think about these Kurd men. If they can do what they did, where they are, what business do we have using femininity to shame? I'm not ashamed to be a woman. I'm not ashamed to have feminine traits, nor am I ashamed to have masculine characteristics. Polarization and emphasis of differences, to me, are not constructive or productive. Let's look more at what makes us PEOPLE. Yes, there are differences, but I keep saying, instead of assigning value judgments, let's celebrate!

Marigold, psyched for the Georgia Renaissance Festival this weekend, wishing you love!

Seeing as I am also a critter person...

I suggest you all read THIS.

I know I keep telling you to go read things or watch things. It's good for you - keeps your brain active. I'll be patient while you read. Go on! I'll just go walk Stitch and be right back!

Now, okay... If someone hurt one of my animals... Once I got through killing them, resurrecting them, and killing them again, everyone would be calling for their heads on pikes. And this is as it should be. We live in an age that people recognize that animal cruelty is not okay. There are movements to make animal cruelty a felony in many states. Whether it's organizations or individual pieces like the little angel who rescued Jackson the cat, people work to save animals. Never once do they ask what the animal did to "deserve" what happened. Nor do they ask how it could possibly, in any way, shape, or form, be the animal's fault.

You know, I'd really like that same consideration if something happened to me. Not sure if I've made this clear enough, but I happen to be female. And I'm totally okay with that - to tell you the plain truth, I like it! I've got long hair to play with and, let's face it, fashion is always kinder to ladies than it is to gentlemen, aesthetically speaking. Case in point, and in light of my recent participation in a theater appreciation group project, I give you American fashion in the 1960s. MUCH kinder to the ladies - most of that stuff looks tolerable even today. What I don't like about being female is that, no matter what happens to me, it is on ME to prove how it wasn't my fault.

I am all for the bit in the Constitution of the United States that gives people the right to a fair trial and all that - we really need that. But I was unaware that "innocent until proven guilty" somehow translated to "guilty until proven innocent" when the situation involves violence against women... In theory, if something happens to me, not only do I have to prove that I was the victim of violence, but I have to prove I didn't deserve it! To me, that sounds... well, fucked up. If a man is threatened with violence and he gives up his wallet, he did what he was supposed to do. No one would say to him "Well, didn't you know better than to have that much cash on your person?" or "Well, why would you dress to suggest that you had money?"

Go and read a little bit of that article again.

Are you scared yet? If you are female, are you getting it through your head that your pet is more likely to get a conviction if it is a victim of violence than you are? I'm not even going to do the whole "This could be your mother/sister/girlfriend/what-have-you" thing. No, because men need to get it through their heads that women are more than "their" anybody! Guys, look around. There's fully half the population who probably couldn't get their attacker convicted because of their gender. Now look at your pet. I'm not saying people who abuse animals should be given any leeway at all - far from it. I'm just saying it's a little twisted that they're more likely to convict the same man of beating his dog than they are of beating his wife or girlfriend.

I don't normally do the whole "This - be outraged about this!" thing. However, looking at Stitch on the couch next to me got me to thinking. If someone hurt him, I would see them prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. If that wasn't good enough, I'd be assembling a posse. The only "justified" cause for hurting an animal is if it's harming someone, and most people get that. However, people seem awfully confused on when it's "justified" to act violently against a woman. You know what? I'm going with the same thing as before. It is only "justified" to use violence against another person if they are doing you bodily harm. Not their clothes, their state of intoxication, their refusal to date you, their refusal to consent to sex within a relationship or out of it... ONLY if someone is doing you bodily harm may you act with violence.

Can we just go with that?

Marigold, retreating to her couch fort, bidding everyone a decent Tuesday!