In Honor of International Women's Day

This post is gonna be personal too. It's a tribute, in honor of today as International Women's Day, to all the badass women in my life, and spotlights on some of them in particular. There are not enough words in any language ever for a comprehensive view of each lady, so everybody gets a long paragraph - just to be fair. Without further ado, here we go - in no particular order:

• Katie

Holy cow. I don't even know where to start with Katie. Something "up there" - whatever deity/deities/higher power/The Force - really knew what they were doing in September of 1992. Both of us remember to this day when I walked up to her and went "Hi, I'm **** - wanna be friends?" [Not printing my real name in this blog - some of you know me, some of you don't - for personal safety.] That was a serious life-changing moment for at least two whole families. The ladies in her family (her mom, Aunt Karen, and Granny in particular) are all so freaking wonderful. Both of us gained a second family that day and I would not trade Katie for anything, ever. We've been through so much - some of it together, some on our own journeys - but we are always sisters. She is so effing strong I don't even know how to put it in words. She upholds HER standards and she's not "noodging" for anything or anybody and it makes me so proud to know her.

• My mom

Twenty-five years minus six days is a long time to love somebody. My mom has been there to do that every day for 9234 days (as of this post) and yes I just calculated that. She's hugged and kissed and cooked and nagged and yelled and fussed and driven me all over creation and back. She's listened to me be perfectly horrible and then still given me a hug the next day when I needed one. I can honestly say my mom has done everything for me while teaching me to do for myself. That's the best way I know how to put it. Heaven knows we've disagreed many, many, many times over the years, but I know I will always have a place to come home to whenever my mom is there. She's gone to bat for me, tried her best to do what's best for me, and now she's being strong enough to let me be grown. She has been through a life I don't even begin to know everything about, but I know it's been hard, and I have no words to describe how much I love and respect her. She made her mistakes, and she owns up to them - I think she blames herself too much, because she's been exactly the right MOM for me.

This brings me to...

• My mother

My mother and I met for the first time in 2010. My mom and dad had never kept it a secret from me that I am adopted (I've got a whole 'nother spiel on that) and I am perfectly fine with that. Yes, I had been curious, but I've known for a long time that biological parents and adoptive parents are ALL your "real" parents. Meeting my mother and hearing her stories and the stories of my Nana and Mamaw (my great-grandmother!) and my aunts and cousins has neither upended my world nor "told me who I really am." It's not like in the movies - it's just added another wonderful layer to the life I already have and love. Having another family to get to know has been a little overwhelming at times, but in a way, it's not all that new. I've always had love for the mother who did what she felt was best for me - it is honestly the bravest thing I have ever heard of anybody doing. Plus! Now I know exactly how I come by so much of myself: physically AND in personality!

These are the top three badass women in my life, but I'd like to give shout-outs to a few more. Some of them are still here on Earth and some of them are up in heaven. It doesn't change for a second how much I love them:

• My Grandma - my dad's mother. She had this gift for gifts, and I still treasure a great many of the things she gave me as links to her. I will never forget her fashion advice or the Little Mermaid-decorated room just for me at her house.  I don't know most of her story, because I was so young for most of the time I knew her, but I remember her as a pretty kick-ass Grandma! I will always associate the Tresor Lancome scent with her. She passed away when I was fifteen, leaving one more gift... Mostly for my dad, but Beau the Flat-Coated Retriever was my special buddy as well. I love you, Grandma, and thank you for everything!

• Meme (pronounced like Mimi) - my mom's mother. She let me totally ransack her living room every chance I got, encouraging the building of couch forts and watching of cartoons, while teaching in her own quiet way. She loved to read to me and I think she may have been prouder than my mom when I started reading out loud. I don't think she would have been able not to teach, having spent 40 years teaching English in the Atlanta public school system. I can never thank her enough for teaching me to speak properly, particularly the difference in "nauseous" and "nauseated." I still have her red ceramic rooster named Joe - he is my favorite reminder of her. I was only in the third grade when she passed away, but I will always remember her. I love you, Meme - you're part of the inspiration for me to become a speech therapist!

 

• Gigi - my mom's aunt. All of my memories involving Gigi involve laughing. She would tell me stories about my cousins when they were little and growing up out in the country in Jefferson, Georgia. Some of the people she told me about, I didn't remember that well because I saw them so infrequently (weddings and funerals), but I loved the stories nonetheless.She let me play with her lipstick and perfume, had the greatest taste in accessories ever! I still wear the silk scarves she gave me, whether it's everyday or to conventions or RenFaires! When she died after making the courageous decision to end the dialysis, I was in the sixth grade. I didn't really understand what was going on, even at 12, but I do know her funeral was the first funeral I really cried at, and I had already been to plenty by then. I will never forget what her laugh sounded like, though, and the song "You Are My Sunshine" reminds me of her most of all. Gigi, I love you so much and I hope you would be proud of your littlest grandniece!

• Aunt Judy - my dad's sister. She had three boys, so I've been told she felt a special kind of joy when she found out she had a niece. I was her only niece, and now it makes me sad that she's not here to see her future grandchild - her son and his wife are expecting their very first! In that joy, she picked out, for my first Christmas, and gave to me the one most precious gift I have ever received in life: my bear. I still have him and, yes, I still sleep with him. She and I were never as close as either of us wished we could be, and now I really regret that. Bath and Body Works and fuzzy socks will always remind me of her, because that was what she always knew I would love on birthdays and Christmas. She was particularly badass in raising my cousin, who has very special needs - I believe it was she who coined the term "handi-capable." I can't hear the song "Wind Beneath My Wings" without thinking of her. She was as brave and strong as anyone could possibly be while battling colon cancer. Aunt Judy - JC and I both still love you, and we miss you so much!

 

• Aunt Katy - my mom's sister. She's the only one of my aunts who's never had kids, but that has always been totally okay with me! Being the baby of the grandkids, I usually got Aunt Katy all to myself. She's been the greatest with advice and little tips and tricks to get through the hiccups in life, like tying your bra straps with dental floss so they don't show in a tank top. She let me get away with a little more than Mom did, and I think I learned all my "bad words" from her. She has always been one of the most cheerful people I think I've ever met. Even beating breast cancer, losing her hair, going through chemo, and getting healthy again, she has always been so BRIGHT! Take that, cancer! Conlee women are WAY too strong for you! 

 

• Aunt Karen - Katie's aunt. Two Scorpios in one place can only lead to trouble! She is a canon lawyer for the Catholic church. She speaks German. She dances ballet. She's raised two boys who have grown up (RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES!) into wonderful young men. A devout Irish Catholic, yet not dull at all! Aunt Karen has always been a hoot - she is a strong woman and she will TELL you what's what! 

 

• Ms. Holly - Katie's mom. I knew I was adopted by the time I met Katie. So I knew I had a mother and a mom, and I was totally cool with that. I had no idea when I walked up and made friends with Katie I was getting a second mom in the bargain! Loud, opinionated, funny as hell, Ms. Holly did NOT take crap from ANYBODY. If she thought something was wrong, she got up and fixed it. And heaven help you if you tried to get between Katie and me for any reason... Her personality and mine were so similar that it was almost scary. We (me, Katie, Ms. Holly, and my mom) always said that if we were switched, Katie and my mom would be fine, but Ms. Holly and I would kill each other! I will never forget, ever, that night when the four of us were sitting around my kitchen table, laughing until we cried and banging on the table while we talked about throwing cheese out the window! [Side note: Go figure...] She passed away when Katie and I were sixteen and I miss her every day - Katie gets more and more like her every day. Ms. Holly, I always wish I had told you that you were my second mom...

 

• Nana - my mother's mother. It is so wild to have living grandparents again! Getting to know my grandmother now that I am a grown woman is very different from being around Meme and Grandma. I can't imagine how it was for her to know that she had a granddaughter and not being able to watch that baby grow up and change like Meme and Grandma could do. She got that experience with my two brothers, but I can't help but wonder how much she wondered. Nana has great skill with anything involving yarn - I wear the scarves she sent me this Christmas all the time and the purple crocheted blanket she gave me when we first met is one of the most special things I own! There was nothing like watching Chipper Jones hit one of his last career home runs with the family I always knew was out there, but had never met. Thank you, Nana, for simply everything!

These are certainly not ALL the badass, wonderful, wild, awesome women in my life, but I have to cut this off now. I have a chorus performance tonight and I've been crying since I started typing about Katie almost an hour ago. My choral director is going to have my butt if I turn up all red-eyed and sniffly - snot's bad for your vocal chords, you know... Just, every one of the ladies in my life, please know that I have so much love for you! You're all so freaking amazing and I wish I could hug every one of you right this minute!

All my readers, sound off in the comments! I want to hear about the badass women in YOUR lives!

Marigold, still sniffling, wishing you all wonderful women in your lives!