Elizabeth Short

Hey, sorry for the extended hiatus.

A bunch of stuff happened in my personal life that made blogging not a thing that was happening. I'd spend a few paragraphs apologizing for that, but that isn't what this one's about. Perhaps at a later date, I may go into light detail about what made this summer so crazy and all. Right now, though, it's three days to Halloween, I'm still a feminist, and I've got something to say.

This past Saturday, I went out with some friends to have a few drinks and generally drag my sorry carcass out of the house for a few hours. Expecting me to say something about the "typical" Halloween costume for women right now? Nope, sorry - totally out of luck there because I don't buy into body policing! Suffice it to say, I went the "I have a dress and now I have an excuse to wear it" route. My friend Raven is a stitch-witch and she made this BEAUTIFUL black dress for a performance and I was honored to have another reason to wear it! I sat down in my dressing area with my big mirror and I started getting ready.

Shameless costume bragging: I did totally awesome vintage-y hair and makeup. I call it my Elphaba tribute setup. Green, glittery eyes with black winged eyeliner and lots of mascara on my top lashes... Shimmer cream instead of blush... For a finale, red lipstick with red glitter brushed on over it. Yes, I thought it was right genius to dip a Q-tip in Mehron Barrier Spray and blot that on over it. Okay, yeah, that's enough of that. Back to the whole point of this!

Long story short - put my dress on, threw a vintage greatcoat over it (yay, Goodwill find!) and headed downtown. Parked my car, headed to a coffee shop to wait for my friends to come meet me - sounds pretty standard, right? Well, after people in costumes began to surface, people started to ask me "Well, what are you?" I hadn't really gone out with the intention of anything beyond "Elphaba tribute/kinda pin-up thing," so I didn't have much of an answer. So, I fished around for something more interesting than that to say about it. Then I thought about marathoning American Horror Story, first season, with Raven while she finished the dress...

"Elizabeth Short," I told curious inquirers.

"Who's that?" they would ask.

"The Black Dahlia," I told them.

Of course, THAT'S when the recognition or sort-of recognition would dawn on them. And that is when I started to think. I didn't like what I wound up thinking about. After thinking some more, I sat down to write all this.

Okay, here's a little history lesson. Elizabeth Short led a short and rather troubled life that ended in Los Angeles on January 15, 1947 when she was murdered by an unknown perpetrator. A young mother with her toddler discovered Short's body in the Leimert Park area of Los Angeles. The media of the time went nuts. It is Edgar Allan Poe who said something to the effect that there is nothing so poetic as the death of a beautiful young woman. The sort of macabre cult interest in the "Black Dahlia" murder is sick proof of that.

On the television show Criminal Minds, the team makes extra effort to say things like "Don't name the killer" and "Don't give them that fame." It is right that they say these things. Name me three American serial killers. You're maybe thinking Charles Manson, Ed Gein, the Green River Killer, the Zodiac, Son of Sam... You history buffs may think of Albert Fish and H. H. Holmes. Here's another question, though: Can you name me even ONE victim? Okay, Sharon Tate. I'm not even going to bother giving my full rant on how nuts it is that serial killers have fans and followers while nobody remembers the names of the victims 

Sharon Tate. Go Google her. This is the first sentence in her Google blurb: "Sharon Marie Tate was an American actress and sex symbol." She was white. She was pretty. She was married to Roman Polanski. And she was murdered. Any movie buffs out there? What was she in? Oh, right... Does it matter? She was that sexy girl who was murdered. It's almost like we fetishize murdered (white!) women. 

Okay, back to Elizabeth Short. What was she like? Did she like to dance? Who was her favorite singer? What was her favorite book? Nobody remembers those things. For most people, nobody ever does, so that's not all THAT unusual, is it? I bet you couldn't tell me Ingrid Bergman's favorite song when she was sixteen - that's not what people become famous for. But Ms. Short... Her ONLY claim to fame is being brutally murdered, dismembered, and then discarded like garbage. The crime scene photos are actually pretty well available on the Internet and are objects of fascination, from what I gather. In the words of Timon, "And everybody's... okay with this?"

I'm not. I saw her portrayed as an unhealthy nymphomaniac paying for acting auditions with sex on American Horror Story. I saw her added to the script of the show in... actually pretty decent writing, in my opinion. It made me wonder, though... What was she really like? The Wikipedia said she had trouble with asthma and bronchitis. I can't even find anything that says she WAS an aspiring actress. Are we now just making this murdered woman into a character and remembering things about her that aren't even true? 

So, I'm Elizabeth Short for Halloween. Sure, you saw her on American Horror Story. Whatever, right? No. Not whatever. There's not much that can be done now to right that wrong. There's no killer. There's no closure. However, in my own heart, I am choosing to think about Miss Elizabeth Short and what she might have been like as a person. I want to give her a little glimpse of life again while I go out and enjoy myself and continue trying to make the world a better place. I'm not saying forget her name - remember it! Remember, however, that she was a human person like yourself. Remember that she had dreams. Remember that she was more than a crime scene photo or an object of macabre curiosity.

Elizabeth, I'm talking to you, sweetie - let's go out and have a good time, shall we? I'm Marigold and I won't forget you.

"Slutty slutty slut!" and going to bat for Miley Cyrus

Okay, the only bit I caught of the... was it the VMA's? was the N*Sync reunion thingy. For the record, I remain Team Backstreet Boys and was largely unimpressed. I don't know who won what, and quite frankly, since Josh Groban wasn't involved, I don't much care. Since I didn't watch any of the rest of the show, I didn't figure I would have to think about it anymore. Yeah, I would have been more than okay not to think about it anymore. Awards shows since the Kids' Choice Awards about ten or twelve years ago have about left me cold.

But no, apparently that's not how it works.

This is me stating for all time, I am not and nor have I ever been a fan of Miley Cyrus. Watched a couple episodes of the show on my brother's recommendation, but I found iCarly more entertaining. Over the years, yeah, of course I heard all the Miley fallout - her brief period as "America's sweetheart" and her (HOW DARE SHE!?) steps away from Disney Channel child superstardom. At first, I was just sick and tired of hearing about her - "Why's she such a big deal?" was my question. Then I started hearing (some of it sort of retroactively) about things like counting down to the young lady's eighteenth birthday. That's when some of the stuff I was hearing started to sort of rub me the wrong way - I know what it's like to have people get really nasty when you don't stay what they want. I shrugged most of it off because celebrity gossip isn't something I usually give a whole lot of thought to. Honestly, I figured there'd be a big explosive scandal and then she'd fade off into the background when something else happened. More about that later, though.

Every time somebody opens their mouth about whatever the heck Miley did at the VMA's, all I hear is "Slutty slutty slut!"

Here's Salon.com's take on it.

I really can't say much on the subject of music videos, given that I don't watch them terribly frequently - usually it's something of Tarkan (incredibly attractive Turkish singer) that my friend K. sends me. Also, I don't know what "ratchet" is. Sorry, I really don't. I've heard some of the "Miley + ratchet + cultural appropriation" fallout, but I've got my own opinions on some of that. I'm also really not sure what "twerking" is. Oh, and by the way, most of the "Slutty slutty slut!" battle cry that I've seen is coming from other women, just FYI! Ladies, what have I said about tearing each other down!? I don't care about your unreasoning pathological hatred of Hannah Montana or whatever. If you have nothing constructive to say, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

AH! AHHHHH! THIS IS IT! I couldn't have said it better myself:

"Last night’s performance brought the public’s perception of Cyrus one step closer to the “crazy” narrative — the casually misogynistic, “OMG, quick, look at another crazy, fucked up, slutty girl go down.” It’s often a white girl, because they’re more commonly featured in our dominantly white cultural narrative. But black female performers are criticized too, sometimes in racialized ways.  Lauryn Hill, Rihanna and other popular performers have been portrayed as dangerous, sexually transgressive and unhinged.  Lauryn Hill went so far as to sing, “I’m not crazy,” at one point.  Our cultural obsessions with the mega flame-outs of Britney Spears, Amanda Bynes, Lindsay Lohan, Whitney Houston and other “troubled divas” have been epic.  And the democratizing effects of the Internet now mean that this kind of micro-examination of girls’ lives and actions is by no means limited to celebrities."

Uh, yeah, about that last line - it's NEVER been limited to celebrities. Every generation spends hours and hours upon days and weeks and months over-thinking every aspect of FEMALE. It's how things like witch burnings and female genital mutilation happened and continue to happen. It's how "Slutty slutty slut!" is the absolute worst thing (besides FAT!) a female can be. Also, I am now laughing myself silly at the "you may also like" that links to a headline about Rush Limbaugh. God forbid, RUSH FUCKING LIMBAUGH be offended by Miley Cyrus. But moving on, I just wanted to say one thing about something that keeps popping up in the running commentary.

"Her daddy screwed up."

FALSE! (Thank you, Katie, for giving me "FALSE!" as a comeback. I love you!) This kind of shit gets my hackles up like nothing else in the world. Look at the sentence: it implies that she - everything about her, like her SEXUALITY! - belongs to her father. Okay, I remember the Vanity Fair shitstorm. I think I saw the pictures once? Okay, she got topless around her dad. HE CHANGED HER DIAPERS, I would assume! Just... fucking ew. Assuming that a young woman "belongs to daddy" until Prince goddamn Charming comes along to ask for her hand (more objectification!) is shit. Complete shit. I do not know the Cyrus family personally. I've never met Billy Ray, never met Miley --- and I'm sure most of the people posting about this never have either! Yes, parents do a lot to shape their children's world view, for good or ill. However, eventually everyone, the parents included, has to get it through their head that the offspring is no longer A child (yes, they'll always be THEIR child) and is their own person.

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Oh, and on a related topic: learn the difference in "I don't like something" and "Something is wrong." You can dislike something all you want, but your personal dislike of something does not make it wrong. You can have your personal opinion of how you think a certain performance should go or what a performer should be doing or whatever. If they fail to coincide with your opinion, you can say "I don't like that." Calling it "wrong" is pretty fucking entitled, in my opinion. It's like you're saying "Everything has to be just the way I like it and I'm going to throw a temper tantrum if it's not."

On this same subject: learn the difference in "wrong" and "incorrect." They are not always direct synonyms. Someone can be doing a thing incorrectly - that has to do with their technique. However, the thing they are doing incorrectly may not necessarily be wrong - that is a value judgement. And doing something "incorrectly" is not always bad. Example - a person is attempting to build a bird house. That is probably not wrong. This same person is attempting to drive in a nail with a shoe. That is incorrect - they should be using a hammer. If, however, the shoe is getting the nail into the piece of wood so that the bird house is coming together okay, then they're probably fine.

The point of the stupid example - you can NOT LIKE that someone is building a bird house with a shoe, but saying that it is WRONG for them to do so is pretty dumb. You're holding them responsible for your feelings, so you can go sit in the back of the bus with the homophobes and the friend-zoners and the people who freak out about exposed breasts.


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Also, I have a whole 'nother spiel about how we treat attention-grabbing behaviors in boys versus girls. I'm not going to go into a whole lot of detail here and now, because Criminal Minds is about to come on and I need to walk my dog, but I'll at least give you a little of my own experience:

"Attention" was a dirty word when I was growing up. I was discouraged from "drawing attention" to myself. I couldn't do theater, couldn't try out for solos in chorus, and I fought with my mom about clothing. I realize that last one is normal, and I also realize partially where it comes from. My mom (I love her!) is painfully shy. She would rather go Steve Irwin on a seasick crocodile than have anyone look at her for any reason. I'm almost the complete opposite... I mean, I'd still help the crocodile, but I'm a performer by nature. I sang and danced all the time as a kid. I like being around cameras and onstage. And, for some reason, throughout my entire formative years and adolescence and all that, that was a horrible, bad thing that made me a horrible, bad person.

Obviously, I don't think I'm that bad. I'm kind of a screwball and my personality is big - that makes it hard for some people to know how to respond to me. Does that make me a bad person, though? Apparently. However, dudes with big personalities who are kinda screwy are lauded - they're class clowns and cute and funny and all that shit.

Just look at the difference there. We tell all kids "express yourselves and do your own thing." When guys actually do it, they're individuals at best and "rebels" at worst - but the "rebel" thing is seen as attractive. When girls actually do it, we say "No! That's not right/ladylike!" or tell them that makes people uncomfortable. The message there is "Fold up and disappear, because everybody matters more than you." Fuck that.

You know what? I never thought I'd be saying this, but you go Miley Cyrus! Do what you do and continue to be your own person unapologetically. Continue to make people uncomfortable. PLEASE make people uncomfortable! Keep making us analyze how we treat females who "misbehave." You're doing something really important. You're really exposing how misogynistic our society as a whole is, particularly in regards to society-wide slut-shaming.

Oh, and one last note: can we stop using "slut" the same way we use "fat"? Like that's the worst thing a female person can be? J.K. Rowling said it best: "'Fat' is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her. I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring', or 'cruel'?" She doesn't think so. For my sake, take a second and re-read that quote with "slut" where the word "fat" is. Is "slut" really the worst thing anybody can be ever? Take these words for what they really are: dismissals. "You don't matter because fat" is the exact same as "You don't matter because slut." The message is exactly the same as spitting the word "attention" at someone who likes to perform, and that message is "FOLD UP AND DISAPPEAR." Apparently, it is the responsibility of women to make sure nobody is ever offended, ever.

Fuck that. Seriously... If you don't like something, be honest - say "I don't like that." If you don't agree with something, be honest too - say "I disagree with that." I'm not saying you have to like and agree with everything because that would be stupid. Oh, and if your reason is "I don't like it because slut" or "I disagree because slut", then go away. Just seriously, go away.

Marigold, feeling beautiful and serene in the days before DragonCon, wishing you a happy and safe Labor Day weekend if I don't talk to you before!!!

A Good Man at the Good Men Project!

I love waking up to something I love! *grumps* Nevermind that it's almost 2 in the afternoon - I've done enough today without being awake and got enough going on besides! Okay, I'm still in the process of reading this one, so give me just a minute to think on it and process it. Wait a tic! I'm being a mite selfish! Here! Y'all read it too!

It's called "Why Women Aren't Crazy" - go read it!!!

You know, just a few paragraphs in - get to the bit about the Bergman/Boyer picture - this stuff already makes a lot of sense! Yashar Ali recognizes and points out with no bones about it, how people (of ALL genders!) constantly berate women about their emotions. Let me level with you on something very, very personal that is quite relevant to this article and its subject:

My dad is not at all well. He's been in ICU in the hospital here in my home town since Monday, July 8th. Given that I don't have my mom's official okay on how much to post here, I'll be brief. Long story short, we've got a 50/50 chance of celebrating Father's Day next year. Things are not looking good. This turn of events is coming after my mom enacted a legal separation with my dad - one that has been very long in coming. ALL of this is coming after watching my dad deal (very poorly at that) with his alcoholism since he retired when I was a junior in high school - 7 years ago.

Now, it seems to me that I should be expected to be a touch wonky during this exceptionally trying time. However, I have discovered that 90% of everyone I deal with seems to think they know how I should handle it, because obviously I'm doing it wrong. I keep hearing from all sides "You're just being over-dramatic - he's not THAT sick" and "Aren't you blowing things a little out of proportion?" (That one always comes with this disgusting tone of faux-sympathy.) My personal favorite is "Aren't you making this all about you?" - that one's the tune and refrain every single time I express anger.

I realize my situation is quite extreme at the present moment and not everyone is dealing with something like this or WILL deal with something like this. I pray to every god in existence that you, my beloveds, never ever do. However, I feel the point is valid in sharing it with you because of one reason: no matter what it is, if a woman expresses ANY negative emotion, she's "nuts."

Here's the problem with all of that, quoted direct from the article above.

"Gaslighting can be as simple as someone smiling and saying something like, “You’re so sensitive,” to somebody else. Such a comment may seem innocuous enough, but in that moment, that person is making a judgment about how someone else should feel."

Oh, and don't even get me started with "What, are you on your period?" Loath as I am to resort to violence, with how short my fuse is recently, that phrase is an instant trigger to a punch in the teeth. If you're a man (assuming you were born male), you've never had one, so you don't get to say that. If you're a woman (assuming you were born female), you've had one, so you don't get to either. Actually, I'd say woman-on-woman gaslighting is worse. We expect it from men - fathers, boyfriends, brothers, guys at school/work. If you're female, please do not contribute doubly to the problem by gaslighting other women and diminishing the possibility for healthy female relationships.

But refer to the last sentence of that block-quote again (and be proud of me for figuring out how to use the block-quote feature). And here's another block-quote for you that actually sums it up better than I could. I'd tip my hat to Mr. Ali, but I haven't got a hat.

I don’t think this idea that women are “crazy,” is based in some sort of massive conspiracy. Rather, I believe it’s connected to the slow and steady drumbeat of women being undermined and dismissed, on a daily basis. And gaslighting is one of many reasons why we are dealing with this public construction of women as “crazy.”

Y'all... This is a man who gets it, and gets it good. It isn't something one person dreamed up one day to "keep us down." It's something that our society does day in and day out, month after month, year upon year, and generation to generation. Well, you may ask, where does it stop?

Go look in a mirror. Yep! YOU. I don't care if you're male, female, whatever gender you happen to identify yourself as. Forgive my total lack of filter, but I don't bloody care if you identify as a spayed English Sheepdog! YOU, YOU, YOU, have the power to help stop societal gaslighting. "Oh, but Marigold!" you may exclaim. "How can I do that with society as a whole standing in my way?"

Here we go: next time someone expresses a negative emotion (don't care about THEIR gender either, come to that), and you open your mouth to say "You're being too dramatic/sensitive/selfish/whatever"... DON'T! You might think they truly are being a nut about it. When a person is upset is not the time to put in your two cents unless they directly ask you for help. Oh, and don't tell them to "Calm down" either. Just don't. (Read that in Captain America's voice.) Yep, it's as simple as that. When a person is upset, it kinda doesn't matter how you think they should feel about it. It matters how they feel about it and that it needed to come out. Try words like:

"I'm so sorry."

"Is there any way I can help?"

"What do you need?/Is there anything you need?"

"Would you like to talk?"

I don't care if you're the "fixer" kind of personality. A lot of the time, what you need to understand is that someone coming to you with a problem is not asking for help. Most people, when they want help, will ask for it. In the situation of "not asking for help," generally what they want is for you to listen. A lot of this societal gaslighting thing seems to come from a general refusal to listen to anybody at any time ever. Everybody wants to be heard, but nobody wants to listen. To a person dealing with a negative emotion like anger, sadness, or frustration, a general refusal to listen boils down in its purest form to "I don't matter."

Yeah, when you're telling someone that they're "dramatic" or "sensitive" or "crazy" or "out of proportion" or what have you, you are telling them "YOU DO NOT MATTER." Can you do that to someone in good conscience? If you can, I feel sorry for you. If you didn't realize that's how it came across, I want to give you a hug. Now you know and you can fix it! This one, like every other problem, starts getting fixed with you.

Oh, by the way... I don't normally do things like this, but I'm going to ask that all of my readers please pray for me and my family. I don't particularly care what deity you pray to or how you pray to them. Just... please... We're having a really hard time and we could use all the prayers and love and good energy and hugs that we can get.

Marigold, sending out love and good energy cos you gotta give 'em to get 'em, wishing you well!

Breaking down "Schrodinger's Rapist"

Recently, I read an article on WordPress and posted it to my Facebook page. No, I'm not posting my Facebook page on this blog, sorry! There has been a great deal of debate going up on my page about the article. First thing I'm going to do is post a link to the article itself.

The Schrodinger's Rapist Article. Please read before commenting.

From what I've seen on Facebook, a great deal more women agree with the article than do men. The argument I've been hearing from men on my Facebook is this: "How dare you speak of all men as if 50% of them could be rapists?" While I do understand the indignation, I maintain that it is impossible for a cisgender male to understand the absolute terror that can come with being born female. I asked my friend P. [name withheld] to read the "Schrodinger's Rapist" article again from a different perspective.

If you haven't yet, please read the article presented in the link above. The commentary to follow is directly related. I was born female, so I feel pretty qualified to explain this. I know I do not speak for all females ever, but I have heard enough assenting commentary/conversation that I am confident in what I say.

Guys, I need you to use your imaginations. Tomorrow morning, you wake up and you were born female. You get out of bed and you go to your closet. You run over in your head where all you're going today and try to dress accordingly. Simple, right? There's different clothes you wear to different places, right? Well, right... to an extent. Are you driving or walking or using public transportation? Let's say you're using public transportation. That affects how you dress today. Say you want to wear that adorable pencil skirt you bought last week... Do you get to? Depends on if you want to run the risk of everything from leers and stares to having obscenities shouted at you to actually being touched.

Congratulations - you haven't even left your BEDROOM and you've just encountered the Schrodinger's rapist concept. A THEORETICAL man you have never even laid eyes on just affected your wardrobe choice. You put the pencil skirt back in the closet and choose some slacks. You get on the bus and you go to work. When you get there, the air conditioner is broken, but you leave your jacket on anyway, because you don't want to get blamed if your male coworkers stare. If one of them complains, YOU are going to be reprimanded - you could even lose your job.

Back on the bus after work. You pull a book out of your purse and try your best to radiate "leave me alone" to every other human being in the near vicinity. There's this one guy. He starts trying to talk to you. He might be a homeless man. He might look like he's in college. He might be Robert Downey Jr. The fact that he's talking to you makes you wonder what he wants. You heard about the incident where a man started screaming and berating and cursing at a woman who didn't want to talk to him on a subway in New York - it circulated through most of your Facebook friends. You can't tell this guy on the bus, "Look, I'm really not interested in conversation right now - please let me read." If you do, 1. you're a horrible bitch and 2. you have no way of knowing if this guy's going to do like the guy in the blog incident.

This guy on the bus... Again, he may be a Nobel Peace Prize winner AND a doctor AND a lawyer AND an Indian chief. The fact that he won't leave you alone makes you nervous. He is now, no matter how good a person he may be, Schrodinger's rapist. You are making it non-verbally clear that you do not want to talk to him, yet he insists. If you talk to him, you feed the behavior and he talks more, making you more uncomfortable. If you don't talk to him, you run the risk of him pushing more, possibly starting to shout, maybe causing a scene. To boot, by social "law", any adverse reaction on his part is your fault. You weren't "nice" enough. You were a "bitch."

And you have no idea how fast or how far this guy's behavior may escalate if he decides he doesn't like something about you.

Doesn't it sound paranoid? Doesn't it sound extreme? Yeah, yeah it does, when you weren't born female and haven't actually had these experiences before, many more than you are even physically capable of documenting because they happen so frequently. Maybe they're not the scale or intensity of the guy on the bus. There's the guy leering at you in the Barnes & Noble - maybe today's the day he'll follow you to your car. There's the way your lady friend's boyfriend makes you uncomfortable when he drinks too much at parties, and how it's YOUR responsibility to excuse yourself away from him - and it happens time after time. There's the icky feeling you get in your stomach when you're working closing shift and you have to take inventory of all your male coworkers. Which one of them is it safe to ask "Will you walk me to my car?" Because remember, if you didn't have someone walk you to your car and something bad happens, it's your fault. If you ask the wrong male coworker and something bad happens, it's still your fault. Maybe you could have asked a female coworker, or maybe you're the last woman to leave the building.

There are a thousand and one little instances of the Schrodinger's rapist concept in a woman's life every freaking day - many of them do not even involve a flesh-and-blood man. That theoretical man who might leer, stare, holler, grab... or rape? You don't even have to see him. You just have to know he's out there. And he affects your life in such intimate ways that if you were not born female, you can never understand what it's like to live without him.

Go read the original article again. Try to read it from the perspective of a woman who's sitting on her couch going, "This makes me sick because I know that guy." Understand that the article is not meant to alienate or bad-mouth anyone. It's meant to communicate a permanent state of mind because whatever horrible things happen to women, it is our fault. Our bodies are public property. Understand that when we say "No man comes with a zero risk factor," we aren't trying to condemn you personally - we're just trying to protect ourselves. Understand how "boys will be boys" and how it permeates every thread of the fabric of our society leaves women perpetually unsure of their personal safety. Do not take it personally.

But please, please be angry. Please be angry at guys you see pestering women who clearly do not want to talk. Please be angry when you hear girls being told how to prevent their own rapes. Please be angry at examples of male entitlement - street harassment, "boys will be boys". Please be angry at how the "rape schedule" (look it up) governs every moment of  life as a woman. Please be angry that articles like "Schrodinger's Rapist" NEED to be written to communicate how terrifying the experience of being female can be! Please be FURIOUS!

Please get angry enough to DO something... besides attack us.

Exams Are Over!

No, this post is not about my exams being over - it's just an explanation of why Tuesday and Thursday went by without any sort of post. Well, it is officially summertime now, so blogging may experience a revamp in schedule, particularly as I lose track of days...

Okay! Following a conversation with my friend N. [name redacted], I have decided to return to a blogging subject very near and dear to me.

As some of you may know, yesterday was a very special day for the Walt Disney Company, hereafter referred to as the Disney Empire. On May 11, 2013, Princess Merida of Castle DunBragh appeared for her coronation as the eleventh Official Disney Princess.

Excuse me... wrong Eleventh!

That one! Yes, Merida (apparently with assistance from Angus - picture is not from coronation ceremony) appeared in the Magic Kingdom yesterday to receive her crown. In true Eleventh fashion, Merida broke with tradition in her coronation.

Yes, Merida was crowned by her mother, Queen Elinor. I don't have the whatsis to go hunting all over Tumblr for the picture I saw yesterday, but here's the gist of it: Princess Tiana was crowned by Prince Naveen. Princess Rapunzel was crowned by Eugene Fitzherbert, alias Flynn Rider. And then it hit me... I scrambled to look up the "Official Disney Princess" lineup, even though I have it memorized. Just needed to see it.

Can you tell me how each of these princesses is similar? There's one answer I'm looking for, and it specifically relates to Merida. Okay, I'll go on and tell you. I am absolutely, positively not knocking any of the Disney Princesses for anything. I think they're all incredibly special and wonderful in their own ways and they all have their own strengths, gifts, and badassness. Merida, however, is the only Disney Princess to remain single by the end of her movie.

I'm just saying. I do not think it is anti-feminist or weak or whatever to have a relationship/get married/whatever. I just think it's really neat that Merida's big step forward at the end was mending her relationship with her mom and becoming a badass leader in her own right. Yes, she had the same issue as Jasmine, and they handled it DIFFERENT ways. That's freaking fantastic! Mulan and Belle had issues in the same vein, and they all handled it the way THEY were meant to!

I want to see people stop tearing the Disney Princesses down for this, that, and the other thing. Tearing someone down, even a character, is not going to get you what you want, and it makes you look terribly petty, in my opinion. Instead, focus on things that ARE badass and awesome. You know what? New summer blogging project. I'm watching every last Disney Princess movie and doing a spotlight on the featured princess, starting with Snow White and finishing with Brave. Then I can just focus on being excited for Frozen!

Marigold, with Disney on the brain, wishing everyone a happy Mother's Day!

This is all kinds of not fucking okay.

Take a second to take a look at this.

Yeah...

Oh, by the way, do NOT tell me I am "taking things too seriously" or "it's just a joke." The hard fact is, if a woman is murdered, it is most likely (per case) to be by an intimate partner. Doesn't matter if they're married, doesn't matter if they had a one-time thing... This is just way effing not-okay. I'm fine with the targets of zombie lawn critters. This? No. Just all kinds of no.

This is just this side of actively encouraging violence against women.

Okay, I know what catharsis is. If you want to make Sims of all your exes and then burn the house down, I think that's probably fairly harmless. I know I've made a few "voodoo Sims" in my time. Seriously, though? Encouraging a real person to put real bullets in a real firearm and shoot them at an actual target that bears disturbing resemblance to another real person? Yeah, I think that may qualify as cultivating psychotic behavior.

This is disgusting. Normally, I do not state my opinions as if they were fact, but this really is. With rates of domestic violence in this country being what they are, there is no excuse for this. Add to that how many instances of domestic violence include the use of a gun, whether or not the weapon is actually discharged? Yeah, let me just say, if you think this bloody thing is funny, I no longer wish to know you.

If you read the article, you can tell these people don't exactly have a history of products in good taste. I don't care what your view on the President of the United States is - it's not a good idea to produce a target that resembles a living individual. Yes, I am aware of the history of effigies. The fact that people do it does not make it a good idea. They pulled that product, and now it's time for people to let them know that they need to pull this one. If I were you, I would be encouraging any firearm-enthusiast friends not to patronize this company at all.

If you are so upset with your former partner that you feel the need to point a REAL GUN at something resembling or representing that person, I encourage you to seek professional help. No, I'm not being patronizing there. Every single gun-related death, I believe, is a preventable one. If you think you may have the desire to harm someone, own up and take responsibility. I, for one, will not judge you for doing the right thing and getting help.

So, all in all, this just made it to the top of my rage list. I'm going to cut this off before it becomes a full-blown screaming rant that can be heard on the moons of Neptune. All of my lovely readers, now is the time for you to rise up and bring forth your squirrel to the bagel shop! No, wait... that's not right. Now is the time for you to send some sort of communication to this company, even if you are not their patron, and inform them of your displeasure. I'm not saying to be rude or mean - that doesn't solve anything or make them listen. Instead, take the time to write something well-thought-out to tell them that this product has no place in distribution.

Have fun making "voodoo Sims"!

Marigold, done with exams, over and out!

Glad I did that post yesterday...

Apologies, folks...

I am ill once again.

Off to enjoy Phenargen, naps, and struggling through tomorrow.